The follwing two paragraphs are taken from the Internet Monk website (www.internetmonk.com), and is from a 2004 essay called “When I Am Weak” I would love it if I could get some discussion going about it. It was reposted today on the website in regards to the whole thing with Ted Haggard... not that that has to be a part of the discussion. For me, it deals with a lot of thoughts I've struggled with the past year... And I think it also goes back to one of Jocelyn's blogs (for those of you who read her blog) about how we aren't honest with each other as Christians, and often hide the truth when we struggle for fear of what all the other "good Chriistians" will think, and more sadly, how they will judge... Anyways, here are the paragraphs from the Internet Monk:
"Evangelicals love a testimony of how screwed up I USED to be. They aren’t interested in how screwed up I am NOW. But the fact is, that we are screwed up. Then. Now. All the time in between and, it’s a safe bet to assume, the rest of the time we’re alive. But we will pay $400 to go hear a “Bible teacher” tell us how we are only a few verses, prayers and cds away from being a lot better. And we will set quietly, or applaud loudly, when the story is retold. I’m really better now. I’m a good Christian. I’m not a mess anymore. I’m different from other people.
What a crock. Please. Call this off. It’s making me sick. I mean that. It’s affecting me. I’m seeing, in my life and the lives of others, a commitment to lying about our condition that is absolutely pathological. Evangelicals call Bill Clinton a big-time liar about sex? Come on. How many nodding “good Christians” have so much garbage sitting in the middle of their lives that the odor makes it impossible to breathe without gagging. How many of us are addicted to food, porn and shopping? How many of us are depressed, angry, unforgiving and just plain mean? How many of us are a walking, talking course on basic hypocrisy, because we just can’t look at ourselves in the mirror and admit what we a collection of brokenness we’ve become WHILE we called ourselves “good Christians” who want to “witness” to others. Gack. I’m choking just writing this."
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Thoughts to Ponder...
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2 comments:
I agree with both of you (and the author) that we need to be more open with one another. However, that takes trust.
Moreover, wisdom is called for in the choice of who we trust with our most "screwed up" parts of our lives. I would contend that just because someone is a believer does not mean they have the maturity and integrity to handle such sensitive information properly. We must remember that the goal of confession is restoration and the goal of openness is is community. We will not bring restoration or community by having partial truths about our struggles passed around as rumors.
Ideally, I could just put everything "out there." Unfortunately, many people would assume there is more to it; many would listen to resulting rumors instead of me; some would seek to hurt me with such information.
The sentence which most struck me was, this:
"I’m seeing, in my life and the lives of others, a commitment to lying about our condition that is absolutely pathological".
Too often we lie (or somehow obscure the truth) to protect our pride. This means that, in addition to my unconfessed sin for which I am getting no help, I am now putting another obstacle in my relationships with my brothers and sister, and with my Heavenly Father.
What am I saying? I'm saying that we need to be open, confessing and seeking help. I'm saying that we need to wisely choose who we do that with. And I'm saying that we should never permit ourselves to lie in order to protect the secrecy of our failures.
Here's the beauty of it all. When we have been deliberately vulnerable to a select group which we can trust, then we are not so vulnerable to rumors when they arise. In other words, if my wife, my best friends, my teammates, and my mentors each know in detail about what's "screwed up" in me, I am not so afraid about the possibility of the truth going public. After all, the most important people already know, and they love me anyway.
Then, I can resist the temptation to keep stuff private through lies. It also means that I will have more freedom, at the appropriate time, to publicly testify about how God is currently refining those impurities out of my life.
Thanks for the comments. I agree with both of you. I think it's so sad how there aren't a lot of people who "get" that people sin.
I just feel so badly for people who have no one they can go to for help and prayer and confession and accountability. It is such a horrible temptation, and I'm convinced, tool of Satan to keep things private through lies and deceit. As horrible as it is to get caught in sin, usually there is also such a relief that comes with it.
How do you know though, if you can really trust a person? I mean, technically, I guess you can't. But it's just so horrible when someone breaks your confidence, or looks at you with contempt instead of grace.
I just rant because a lot of this just really upsets me... I have more to blog on tomorrow about somme stuff... hope you'll comment on there too...
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